GamerTab That was an excellent one.
Smartorhypo Highly Overrated But Still Good
Neive Bellamy Excellent and certainly provocative... If nothing else, the film is a real conversation starter.
Lachlan Coulson This is a gorgeous movie made by a gorgeous spirit.
me-2667 ... but perfect inspiration for a site that help people avoid wasting time watching truly rotten films like this.Whether or not you've started watching this yet or not it's never too late to "eject."Press stop.
Shilo "Kazaam" is a massive failure on so many levels that showcases a production company's desire to take advantage of children. It fails in of everything it sets out to accomplish if there was anything to even begin within the screenplay. Shaq as a genie didn't even make me laugh as much as it made me feel uncomfortable every time I saw that stupid smile of his staring at the kid. This film sucked so let's get this over with.It's about a kid, Max (Francis Capra) who lives with his mother, Alice (Ally Walker) in Brooklyn, New York. During school, Max is chased by bullies into an abandoned building where he falls through a floor and discovers a boom box. He accidentally unleashed the genie inside who calls himself, "Kazaam" (Shaq). Kazaam becomes Max's Genie and follows him around until he can grant the kid three wishes. Max discovers that his mother lied to him about his father, Nick (James Acheson) who left the family years before. He discovers he is in New York and sets out to find his father while hauling Kazaam behind him.I would love to know the real reason why this was made. It doesn't even have any potential to be good at all. It's an excuse and all I can think of is that Shaq was really desperate and needed to make this film. I can't believe he was offered 7 million for this. This is also supposed to be a children's movie. I strongly disagree with that as it quite a violent film as well but I will get to that. So, this garbage starts off with a massive wrecking ball taking up 5 mins of the films opening to destroy a building that houses a magic lamp that Kazaam is inside. The thing tips over and lands on a boom box. The Genie decides to take up residence inside.We are introduced to Max who tries to hard to be a bad boy and gets bullied by some stupid kids who try even harder to be bad boys. It's like the director told the kids to look like wannabe drug-dealing thugs because that what they come off as. These kids are supposed to be high school students but they are so mean-spirited and one of them wears an earring bigger than my fist. It adds a seriously violent tone to the film as they beat Max up for no reason. I can't even begin to believe they are bullies. There is a sequence in a bathroom where they outline his body on the floor with paint. I think I'll stick with the director telling them to be drug dealers because I don't believe they are in high school. This is just awful. Why do we need to show "Bullies" painting a teenager's body on the floor? Was the director hinting something here? The kids are scared off when Kazaam appears and one of them decides to try to hit the Genie with a piece of wood. Does that sound like something someone would do if a Genie, oh I don't know, popped out of nowhere and looked like Shaq dressed as a ridiculous clown? Shaq looks like a TV commercial for the middle east as he walks around with the kid at 7 foot 6 and smiles like an idiot whenever he stares at the kid. From here on, we learn that Max's equally stupid father pirates music and get involves with some of the most laughable actors I have ever seen in a film. These guys are truly pathetic. One of them, I think he is the main villain, speaks with a clearly fake Russian accent and can't act at all. It all leads up to a violent ending involving Max and an elevator shaft. Oh, and then Shaq kung-fu fights a group of terribly acted Russian gangsters. Apparently they want to learn Kazaam's power or something. At this point in the film, I just wanted it to end.Nobody in this film can act. The direction is thrown out the window and the screenplay is such a mess that they need to fill time in so they have Kazaam show Max his powers by using horrible special effects to make it rain candy bars. The special effects are so bad they will hurt your eyes. If that's not enough, Shaq uses even more horrible special effects to shower in front of Max and ride a stupid bike into the air while laughing like an idiot. I think Shaq was a rapper around this time which would explain why there is a dumb subplot where some moron sees Kazaam rap and hires him to open for the female hip hop trio, Salt-N-Pepa. The story takes a complete detour and forgets everything so they can showcase Shaq as a rapper until the end of the film comes along and it forgets Shaq was a rapper so they can end what becomes quite violent.This movie should never have been made and the screenwriter is a joke. Too many bad ideas fused together to make a choppy movie and attempts to showcase Shaq in many different ways that fail; his outfit being the silliest of them all. I'm just mystified as to why the director made this film violent. It's not kiddie violent either. The ending is pretty serious for a "children's movie." I hope parents don't take their kids to see this awful film. The people who made it should be ashamed of themselves for taking advantage of Children. I hope the director, Paul Michael Glaser never makes another film.
yankcrime15 This isn't as much of a film as it is a giant promotional campaign by Touchstone Pictures to market the NBA's worst free thrower with his extraordinary height. Not only is this obviously forever trapped in a time capsule set to 1996, but everything in this film is done so bad that it's completely laughable.If I had a handful of cardboard cutouts, they would be far more dimensional than any of the people that acted in this film. It's obvious that Shaq not only fails at free throws, rapping and being a video game character, but his acting is absolutely dreadful. He's a "rapping" (actually a RHYMING) genie that moved into a boombox and is summoned when a boy named Max (played by a young Francis Capra) stumbles upon him after being chased by bullies. Throughout the movie, Shaq becomes a subject of slavery as Max owns him until his three wishes are granted. That's pretty much the whole plot, unless you're actually going to include a meaningless subplot about "finding the true father".It doesn't get any better from there. Shaq demonstrates his mad rapping skills by appearing at a night club where he becomes a selected guest. Guess how fast Theodor Geisel was spinning in his grave when he brought forth the detestable line of "Let's green egg and ham it!" Probably around the same speed that would also be brought forth by those two live action adaptations that shall not be named.Then there's some phenomenal acting. I'm talking about the magical french toast. That performance was far more convincing than anything you could expect Shaq to give us. Too bad this film killed its career.Speaking of career killers, ever noticed what happened to Paul Michael Glaser after he directed this film? It's a long story.Granted, it's not one of THE worst things I have ever seen, but it's very close. Kazaam is proof that pitching a non actor as a main character usually does not give satisfactory results. With all this time wasted in the production of this film, I bet Shaq could have gotten some more practice at free throws. The most shocking thing about this? Shaq actually got ANOTHER lead role a year later, but that's a whole different story subject.
Kristine The other day my girlfriends and I were having our pizza night and looking for movies to watch. Kazaam was on demand and I asked if any the girls had seen it, only one of my friends did and I asked if it really was as bad as everyone says it is. She said she didn't since she saw it as a kid so we all decided to go for the bait and see if Kazaam really does deserve one of the worst movies in cinema titles. Oh, yeah, it really does. I could not believe how bad this movie was. Shaq has the acting quality of a wooden shelf, the kid who is supposed to be a hero is actually a brat, the villain of the story looks like a chewed up version of Mario from Super Mario Brothers and the story does not make sense for the child audience it was aimed for. How in the heck is a child supposed to relate to this story of trying to get his pirate music stealing father back with his mother while being stalked by a 7 foot tall grown man offering him free treats and all the presents in the world and OH MY GOD does that not sound so bad?! There are so many things wrong with this movie it drives me insane.A schoolboy named Max is confronted and chased down by a group of bullies through the city of New Bronslin. Max is chased into the abandoned building, where he discovers a magical boom-box and accidentally unleashes the genie inside. The genie, who introduces himself as Kazaam, tells Max that he is now Max's genie. Max returns home to find that his mother is marrying a fireman. It is revealed that his mother lied to him about his real father's whereabouts, and that he is actually located in the city. Max set out to search for his father in the hopes of rekindling some sort of bond between them. He suddenly encounters Kazaam during his travels, who pesters Max into making a wish. Max eventually finds his father, only to learn that he is a musical talent agent who specializes in pirated music. A employee of the nightclub shows interest in Kazaam upon the realization that he is a genie, and hopes to control Kazaam through Max's father.Between the awful acting, the terrible script and the lousy effects, this movie is just plain bad. This is how bad this is, Shaq literally slam dunks the villain to defeat him! If that's not a plug in for his career, I don't know what is. The kid Max has no likable qualities, he has a very loving mother and a possible step father who cares for him, yet he acts like a total jerk because he's not getting his way with not having his dad around who is a criminal no less! Even when his criminal father kicks him out of his life, Max still does everything to save him, sick isn't it? Shaq, I don't know the writers were thinking. Maybe that it's so funny that a giant basketball super star should be a genie and it's a great way to make a quick buck for those sucker parents who's kids are begging to see the film. I don't know how to say this other than just say it, it really is as bad as everyone says it is if not worse. Trust me, don't waste your sanity on this horrible movie, Shaq's acting is enough to make you wish this movie never existed in the first place.1/10
