GamerTab That was an excellent one.

Livestonth I am only giving this movie a 1 for the great cast, though I can't imagine what any of them were thinking. This movie was horrible

filippaberry84 I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Hattie I didn’t really have many expectations going into the movie (good or bad), but I actually really enjoyed it. I really liked the characters and the banter between them.

gavin6942 Under a powerful Mayan curse, snakes are hatched inside a young woman, slowly devouring her from within. Her only chance for survival is a powerful shaman who lives across the border. With only hours to live, she jumps on a train headed for Los Angeles.Could this be one of The Asylum's worst films and yet one its biggest money-makers? I think so. While most of their films are bad, this one seems to be among the worst. And yet, it is possibly the most noteworthy ripoff they had. I can see hundreds and thousands of people renting this... (though I am not exactly sure how rental money gets back to creators).Others have complained about dangling subplots, such as the drug smuggling and Middle Eastern man. Really? If anything, give them credit for trying to have more complex characters... even if they failed.

MechaWingZero First of all, I am an enthusiastic connoisseur of B-movies (as you know if you've read any of my other reviews) and I am a dedicated fan of "Snakes on a Plane" even after all the hype has ed. I even have a Snakes on a Plane movie poster in my room. Let me be absolutely clear, "Snakes on a Train" is NOT AT ALL similar to Snakes on a Plane. I was thinking and hoping it'd be like a much cheaper version, but the truth is that it's about as similar to Snakes on a Plane as a shark is similar to a soda can.I had to watch "Snakes on a Train" out of curiosity. Fortunately, it was ed in segments on YouTube so I didn't have to spend any money on it. I still felt a horrible feeling both during and after I saw it. This is a film that truly got absolutely nothing right.Number one, Asylum Home Entertainment should apologize for false advertising. There are absolutely not "100 Trapped engers - 3,000 Venomous Vipers," not even close! There are only about a dozen or so dull uninteresting "engers" and maybe two dozen snakes (at most) which are garter snakes and ball pythons (so much for the "Venomous Vipers" that the box promises).Then, the next problem is the extremely boring story that is told in the slowest possible way. A woman has a curse on her and so she vomits snakes up her throat. She vomits them while they are traveling on a train. When the snakes bite other people, they start vomiting out snakes too. And mind you, all of this happens more slowly than a snail crosses the road. It drags on and on and on. There are no panic scenes or action scenes at all (until the very end of the movie that is). No trying to escape from the surrounding snakes, just talking and talking (about nothing interesting) while the woman in back is vomiting up more snakes. Oh yeah, and there is dull "subplot" about a girl delivering illegal drugs and a cop catching her, and predictably the cop is corrupt and is a pervert.As I implied above, the characters in this movie are extremely dull. In fact so dull, that you wonder how they got hired for a movie, even a direct to DVD movie from the Asylum! The only tiny redeeming quality this movie might have is that the ending is unintentionally funny (I don't reveal endings, even in reviews that I have marked for containing spoilers. You can look that up if you want to know). The rest of the movie is far too boring to be funny, intentionally or unintentionally. Needless to say the sets are awful too, as it looks like they crammed bunk-beds and seats into a long hall way and called it a train.I feel let down. Couldn't Asylum have at least made a rip off that you could laugh at? I don't know how they thought to make this film. Staring at paint dry for the 91 min. run-time is a better use of your time than watching this garbage.

morrison-dylan-fan Looking back on the year 2006,one of the things i will most is the "Snakeamania" on the internet for a film called Snakes on a plane.But unknown to me there was a straight- to- DVD rip-off film called Snakes on a train!After seeing this i feel its at best a below-par B-Movie.The plot:A husband and wife get on a train to go to Los Angles,to get help form the husbands uncle who is a shaman.This is because the wife's family do not approve of her marring him,so they have put a curse on her that snakes will "become her".Thought with a sixteen hour drive to Los Angles and a group of engers the include an ex-Narc cop and some drug traffickers.Will they get there in time before the snakes take her over? View on the film: First the effects:I have to say that while some scenes with the smaller snakes look good in a gory-way,the main effect shots you have to wait eighty minutes to see!Are sadly that bad that they completely kill any good memories of the film(The film makes 198os Video Games look like T2 next to this!.)One of the things i noticed is that there is no screenplay credit on the film! and the directors make the film so anti-climatic it ruins the whole film. Final view on the film:A below-par B-Movie,with an unbelievably bad ending.

MisterWhiplash I would probably want to give this movie a zero if not for the climax, which involves not really Snakes on a Train, but rather Train IN a Snake. The premise was cooked up far more than likely over the course of a night of beers after hearing about Snakes on a Plane in production (this, in fact, was released to coincide with that film's release). The joke is probably not lost on those who will seek this out; I don't think there would be a soul out there who would consider this anything as a serious action-thriller effort (unless on an ironic level beyond the capacity for rational thought). It's about a Mayan curse placed on a woman who's damned by her family for leaving with another man, and is soon seen sickened and coughing up green slime laced with, of course, snakes. She and her beau go on a train headed for Los Angeles, and very soon after the more-than-cliché characters are privy to snakes overtaking the train- with the originator woman becoming a snake herself. If it would be worth listing more about the movie I would, but there isn't enough time during the day. All that can be said for the quality factor is that it's almost on-existent; there are student short films with larger budgets. Maybe that was a wise calculation on the filmmakers' end, that there would be so many copies sold, just for the joke factor alone, that they would re-coup their budget in the first weekend. Because by looking at the sets (the trains themselves change randomly in the middle of a scene!), the actors (if you can call them that, with only one other actor- the one with the very thin hair who hits on the one woman throughout the movie- who benefited from the flick being produced), the FX (also next to non-existent, making the effects in Snakes on a Plane seem like Star Wars), and the actual CGI snakes themselves, with the final huge behemoth snake something to behold in sci-fi movie channel .This all means, basically, that it is a laugh riot every step of the way (especially, as cruel as it sounds, when a little girl becomes involved in a snake's "attention"), with the very disregard for good taste working well in its favor. This being said, it is also 100% disposable, like a B-movie sour-flavor lollipop.